Should I Take My Husband's Last Name?

If you're a soon-to-be bride, you likely already have a lot on your plate. From planning the wedding to celebrating love and commitment with your future spouse, engagements and weddings are exciting. Still, they're also a great deal of work. 

For many brides, one unexpected stressor that comes up during the planning process is the question of last names. Changing a last name is relatively straightforward when getting married. Still, while the legal process might be simple, the emotional and social implications are more complex. In many western countries, the traditional expectation is that brides take their husbands' last names, but more and more people are questioning these norms altogether.

Of course, many people are also getting married who aren't a bride and groom. Those situations can also be complicated when choosing a last name, and same-sex and LGBTQIA+ couples also have to decide what works for them. 

But, for this guide, we will mainly be addressing brides trying to figure out if taking their husband's last name makes sense or not. Let's go over some of the considerations.

Consideration 1: Ease and Legal Issues

When you're married, there are some advantages to sharing a last name. For one thing, a shared last name makes it easier to do things like open joint checking accounts, share a mortgage, and more.  

While having the same last name may reduce confusion, it's still not necessary. It's still possible to do all of these things if you each have separate last names.

Consideration 2: Your Feelings About Your Last Name

Another essential part of deciding your last name after marriage often gets ignored. This consideration is your personal feelings about your current last name. Some brides feel a solid connection to this name. Maybe it ties them to their families, or they like how it sounds.

These connections to your last name can also be practical. If you have a certain kind of career, keeping your last name is much simpler and connects you to your past body of work. 

On the other hand, some people never liked their last names to begin with and wouldn't mind another. In this case, going with your husband's last name might be the best choice, even if you consider yourself a staunch feminist.

Consideration 3: Other Options For Last Names

While brides often feel pressure to take on their husband's last name, these days, more and more couples are taking alternate routes. Instead of taking on another person's last name, the couple might choose a new one altogether. Or, there's the tried and true method of hyphenating, so both individuals take each other's last names.

Finally, if the bride feels a stronger tie to her last name or finds it important to keep her last name, the groom should consider taking her last name instead. 

While there's no correct answer, there are many options to consider, and each couple should do what works best for them.

So, Should You Take Your Husband's Last Name Or Not?

The truth is there is no specific answer. Choosing a last name after a wedding is a decision each couple needs to make for themselves. While negotiating these details can be challenging, having healthy disagreements and productive discussions is critical to a healthy relationship. 

Just remember that it's vital that both parties are seen on equal footing, regardless of what the decision is in the end. The bride mustn't feel she is expected to give up her name. Compromise and understanding are key here.